I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Randomize
