Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
