Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
