twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
