dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
