used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
