Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
