I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
