I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
