hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
