You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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