doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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