if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
