just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
