I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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