Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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