The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Randomize
