you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
