I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Randomize
