the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
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