What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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