We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize