Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
