There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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