just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
