cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Randomize
