I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
