I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
