I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize