I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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