I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
