I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
