I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
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