I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
