so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
