Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
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