he told me I talked like a deaf person
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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