I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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