i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
