I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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