Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Randomize
