so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
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