nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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