I'm eating all of the evidence.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
i drank out of a bidet.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
