It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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