I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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