My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Randomize
