I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
So much rum. So many feels.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
