i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize