I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
