so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
