I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
and you fell through a lawn chair
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