...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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