Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
