what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
