I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
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