Little spoons don't ask big questions
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
