New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
