Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
