batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
