Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
