I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
i think my cat just said my name.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
