i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
