shes about as inviting as chlamydia
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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