How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
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