You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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