What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Randomize
