Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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