So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
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