Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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